Receiving a cancer diagnosis is a life-altering moment. It’s a harsh reminder of our mortality and how uncertain life can be. But for many, myself included, it’s also an opportunity to turn to God and experience His sovereignty. To witness, how even in the midst of a daunting diagnosis – life is still good and beautiful. Our human perception would find it hard to believe that God answered our prayer through cancer, but I received my diagnosis as an answered prayer.
Our Answered Prayer
Not that I prayed to get cancer but from the moment I was urgently scheduled for a CT Scan, I knew God had answered one of my biggest prayer and longings this year.
In the process of embracing my new season as a Mom during the pandemic, I felt lost and disconnected from God. That’s why this year, Macky and I prayed to have a “spiritual comeback”. It’s our number one faith goal for 2023. To experience and have that deep connection with God again. We just didn’t expect our prayer to be answered through cancer.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.”
2 Corinthians 4:16 NIV
This verse exactly encapsulates what I felt when my battle started.
It’s physically painful and emotionally draining but my spirit is very much alive. And if it takes cancer for me to have that deep connection with Him again, with arms open wide and in surrender, I say “Lord I’m scared but let’s do it!”.
God answers prayers in ways we can’t comprehend but it will always work together for our good.
How God Showed Up In Every Turn Of My Battle With Cancer
God’s fingerprint has been all over this journey. From the littlest details to the big ones, God got us covered. Definitely not easy but I take courage and confidence in His words and His promises.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 NIV
1. God’s Timing
My cancer is considered to have been detected early because the tumour was isolated in my chest, and no cancer spread to the rest of my body. Because of that it can actually pass as Stage 2 but because of its size (approx 10 cm long), the tumour is considered bulky thus my cancer staging was tagged at Stage 4.
Stage 4 cancer sounds scary and intimidating but this actually opened an opportunity for me to take and use newly approved chemotherapy drugs with lesser long-term side effects on my body, lesser damage to healthy cells, and a lower chance of recurrence.
We planned to migrate to another country and were hoping to do so this year. Praise God that it didn’t push through. I can’t imagine ourselves starting from scratch in another country while dealing with cancer.
We also hoped to get pregnant this year, and I don’t really know how we will ever handle this situation if we were able to conceive.
2. Medical Journey and Expenses
Since my cancer stage qualifies for the latest approved, deemed safer, chemo treatment, we opted for it but it comes with a much higher cost.
Thankfully and amazingly, all my medical consultations, surgery, and chemotherapy treatment are 100% covered by insurance through Macky’s company coverage. Yes, 100%! When God said I will lack nothing in this journey, He surely made it happen.
A big relief for us especially when medical expenses here in Singapore is not relatively cheap. It’s also a privilege to be here in Singapore where we are assisted by top-tier doctors in advanced medical facilities.
Another bonus is that in all my medical check-ups, scans, and tests there is always a Filipino nurse assisting me. It’s like God is reminding me that in every step of this journey He is with me and I can just relax and feel at home.
3. Favourable Work Arrangement
Both Macky and I are grateful to our companies for being so understanding and supportive during this time. I’m still able to work full time at home and encouraged to take time off as and when I need to.
Macky has been with me in every single appointment and treatment while taking time off and working remotely at times.
This allows us to focus more on my healing and recovery without worrying too much about work.
In fact, I look forward to log in at work because it also helps me take my mind off from all the discomforts and physical pains from the chemo side effects.
4. Community and Support System
Can’t thank our family, friends, and church community enough for rallying with us in prayers, sending messages of hope and encouragement. Even extending their hands to us at home, taking care and playing with Hopesie, sending food, and cooking home-cooked meals for us during this time.
Thank you for always checking up on us and making sure we don’t feel alone in this battle.
The Challenge of Doubt
It’s important to acknowledge that the journey of battling cancer with God isn’t always smooth. Doubt, anger, and questioning can be part of the process. These feelings are normal and shouldn’t be suppressed. Cry it out and unload everything to Him.
Be it with cancer or any trials, as you go through these complex emotions may your faith evolve and experience His love like never before.
May this worship song, “It Is Well”, comfort you as it does to me whenever I succumb to the discomforts and uncertainties of my current situation.
“And through it all, through it all…
My eyes are on You
And it is well,
with me.”
