It has been two years since Hopesie was born, and Macky and I entered the world of parenthood. The memories of that day and the preceding days leading up to our unmedicated home water birth hold a special place in our hearts. Even as we continue to nurture and raise Hopesie, I often reflect on those moments to find strength and guidance as we face the challenges of parenthood.
The gentleness, the collaboration, the calm, safe, and supportive environment we prayed and hoped to achieve during Hopesie’s birth are the same principles that guides me through motherhood.
Hopesie’s birth serves as a constant reminder to our family that we can place our unwavering faith in God. The same divine power that resurrected Jesus from death is the very same power that can empower us to overcome life’s uncertainties and seemingly insurmountable challenges, as well as fulfil our deepest desires.
Indulge me, as I look back on our Unmedicated Water Birth at home.
Home Birth Timeline
October 4 2021 (Monday) was our estimated due date and up to that date, there were no indications of labor. As an excited and heavy (really heavy at that point) mama, my impatience and concerns were growing with each passing moment.
As I prayed to God for His chosen time and day for our son’s birth, I remembered that my initial prayer had been for a birth free from false labor, where our baby would enter the world whenever he was ready, in our home, and spontaneously.
October 5 (Tuesday) – We went for a checkup and the scan results were not promising. It appeared that my amniotic fluid levels had decreased, my cervix remained high and tight, and even a membrane sweep by my OB was not possible. Consequently, we decided to use a balloon catheter to help soften the cervix and promote labor. If labor didn’t initiate within the next 24 hours, we would have to proceed to the hospital and induce labor.
At that point, I was already entertaining lies from the enemy,
“That my body is broken and it doesn’t know how to start labor.”
“I’m not doing enough.”
“I’m selfish to still think of my dream birth and not our safety.”
“I’m weak and I’m not meant to get the birth that I prayed for.”
I was pleading to God to give me the peace to birth at the hospital and let go of all the preparations we had made for an unmedicated water birth at home.
October 6 (Wednesday morning) – We went back to the clinic to check on my progress. Still anxious and pleading to God. While sitting at the clinic to see our OB, I heard the end part of Lauren Daigle’s song “You Say” playing in the background,
“Oh, I believe,
Yes I believe
What you say of me, I believe”
I searched the lyrics and immediately felt the Holy Spirit and started tearing up. 🥺
“I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know
Ooh-oh
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don’t belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe
Oh, I believe
What You say of me
I believe”
Each verse of this song resonated deeply within me. God was reminding me to continue believing in what we prayed for and that He will fulfil His promise.
True enough, once we sat down with our OB, all the good news came in:
– My cervix had already dilated to 3-4cm! Woohoo!
– My amniotic fluid had not reduced! My OB realised there was only a skin tissue or something that was blocking the view on the scan yesterday to clearly see the fluid flow.
– We’re safe to wait and proceed with our home birth. No need to rush to the hospital! Yay!
October 7 (Thursday) – No contractions at all again. This situation raised a bit of concern, as we were hoping not to go beyond 41 weeks, given the increased risk of meconium staining in the womb, which could necessitate a hospital birth. At this point, we were at 40 weeks and 4 days.
Another concern that troubled us was the sporadic nosebleeds I experienced, lasting around 15 to 20 minutes, for nearly a week at that time.. While my OB assured me that this was common in the third trimester and not a cause for concern, I couldn’t help but worry. I was anxious that if these nosebleeds persisted and labor began, it might hinder my ability to breathe through contractions, which is a crucial aspect of managing labor pain. Additionally, considering that many birthing positions involve leaning forward, I wondered how this might affect me.
This time around, I opened up to our lifegroup (our church small group) and requested their prayers regarding my nosebleeds. Initially, I kept it to myself, not wanting to burden others with my concerns. Looking back, I now believe that God intended for us to share our concern and seek prayers because it became one of the significant breakthroughs we needed before the delivery.
October 7 (Thursday afternoon/evening) – Still no contractions but I was not getting nose bleeds anymore when I usually would. Yay! Thank God for answering our prayer!
October 8 (Friday morning) – We went for another OB appointment to monitor contractions but they were still not as strong and frequent.
Around 2:30 PM – as we enjoyed our late lunch, the contractions began to intensify. I was able to eat two slices of Hawaiian pizza and savour two swirls of pasta bolognese before I found myself swaying, moaning, and focusing on my breathing to cope with the increasingly frequent, stronger, and closely spaced contractions.
From that moment forward, Macky began providing me with soothing back massages, gentle hip squeezes, and the delightful sensation of rolling rice socks on my back (best thing ever!) to alleviate my discomfort, all while tuning into my Christian Hypno-birthing tracks.
At approximately 6 pm, Macky contacted our doulas and friends (Ate Maya and Dora) to come over. Praise God for the favour on our schedules that day.
They arrived around 7 p.m., I laboured for 4 more hours, and at 11:36 p.m. – Our Hopesie was born! Weighing 3.41 kg, with 1 neck looped cord.
It was 9 hours of labor and an hour of pushing, deep breathing through contractions in different labor positions – standing, squatting, sitting on the birth stool, side lying on the bed, circling and swaying on the birth ball, forward-leaning inversion, all fours on the floor. I moved around the house and laboured in our living room, bathroom, master bedroom, and finally in the pool. This freedom and flexibility were the very aspects I had eagerly anticipated and envisioned when planning for a home birth.
Dimmed lights, hushed voices, no aircon because I felt very cold during labor (sorry sweaty birth team), music and hypnobirthing tracks playing in the background, peppermint and lavender diffused in the air. We did not have any intrusive internal examinations, continuous fetal monitoring, strict timing, and unnecessary interventions. I relaxed and visualised going through different places with my baby every surge. I was listening to my body and letting it fulfil its design.
All those and the support and encouragement from my amazing husband and birth team helped me to breathe our baby out to the world, via water birth, unmedicated at home.
Ultimately, it was our Heavenly Father who made all of this a reality, extending His power and strength to me from pregnancy through our unmedicated home water birth and continuing to guide us as we journey through parenthood.
Yet not I, but through Christ in me.
All glory to Him!
The end of ourselves is only the beginning of God.
If you want to get in touch with my OB and Doula, below are their contact details.
O-GYNE
Currently the only obstetrician-gynecologist licensed to oversee home births in Singapore.
Dr. Lai Fon Ming
A Company for Women
+65 6333 6181
DOULA
Gem Tan
www.doulagem.com
doulagem74@gmail.com
+65 9876 1502
